


Eggspecting

by VigilantePond



Category: Mission: Impossible (Movies)
Genre: Egg Baby, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-10
Updated: 2019-05-10
Packaged: 2020-02-29 10:59:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18776917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VigilantePond/pseuds/VigilantePond
Summary: In which Ilsa and Ethan take care of a mysterious egg together, but there are some unforeseen circumstances.





	Eggspecting

**Author's Note:**

> The inspiration came from the Legends of Tomorrow episode where Nate and Zari had the golden egg. Some silly nonsense

_Ding_. A high pitched ring echoed from the front door. “Did you order takeout?” Ethan Hunt frowned. 

“No, I was just about to call,” Ilsa replied, gesturing towards the phone in her hand. 

With caution, he glanced through the peephole and saw a small brown box on his porch. He brought it into his house, and they stood over it for a long time, wondering what it could be. 

“Shouldn’t we scan it for radioactive signals first?” Ilsa asked. 

Ethan shook his head and pulled an X-acto knife out of his pocket; he began to cut open the box gently. Inside the brown cardboard box was a single ovular egg, the size of an American football, with a note attached. 

 

_Your mission should you choose to accept it; is to take care of this egg which was part of an illegal genetic mutation experiment. You must provide it with warmth at all costs until it hatches and it will then by handed over to the CIA for further procedures. This message will self destruct._

 

“What is this, like a dinosaur egg?” he mumbled, lifting it up slowly. It was smooth and cool in his hands, and heavy as a mini watermelon. There was something delicate about this egg besides its shiny golden surface; its glass-like fragility seemed like it would shatter in an instance, yet the energy that it exuded was so full of life. 

“I don’t understand why they would send _us_ this egg,” Ilsa furrowed her brows.

“I guess everyone else is busy. This should be interesting,” Ethan replied. 

“Hold on, do you know how to take care of… dinosaur eggs?” The note crumbled to dust before Ilsa could inspect the vague instructions.

“I’ll figure it out. How hard could it be? We just need to keep it warm,” he shrugged, “It’s an egg.”

“I’m just saying, I’m not going to sit on that thing,” Ilsa said pointedly. 

He chuckled. “We’ll find other ways to make warmth. Then, tomorrow morning we can go buy a heat lamp.” Ethan unzipped his parka and gently snuggled the egg against his body, then wrapping the jacket around it. There was a faint smile growing on his face, it was clear all his focus was diverted to watching the egg. 

Ilsa placed a hand on top of it and rubbed it awkwardly as if it were a magic lamp. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” she mused. 

“Yes, I am. In fact, we should give it a name,” he suggested. 

“A name? Like what, Jonathan?” 

“God no, that’s worse than John Lark. What about Eggward?” 

Ilsa snorted, “You’re such a nerd.” 

He planted a quick kiss on her forehead. “And that’s why you love me. Okay, it’s settled then. Nice to meet you, Eggward.” 

That night, Ethan brought Eggward to their bedroom and nestled it in between him and Ilsa. They figured that it could “sleep” in between them. He even brought extra blankets — lightweight ones, so that it wouldn’t crush it — and swaddled the egg tightly. 

“Don’t crush it in your sleep,” Ilsa warned. 

“ _Me_? You have nothing to worry about.” He kissed her and Eggward goodnight. 

——————————————————————-

Since they didn’t own anything that resembled a tank or a cage, Ethan had set up a corner for Eggward which consisted of a mountain of pillows, as many cotton balls as he could find, and some socks for good measure. It wasn’t the most aesthetically pleasing thing in the world, but it was still very cozy nonetheless. 

“I’m going to go unload the heat lamp from the car,” he announced. 

“Do you need help?” 

“No, but I’d love it if you came anyway,” he grinned. 

Much to their horror, the makeshift nest was empty when they returned. The lamp nearly slipped from Ethan’s grip; luckily Ilsa caught it. 

“Wha- Where’s Eggward?” he cried frantically. 

“Let’s get searching. You don’t suppose he… _hatched_ already?” Ilsa shuddered.

Ethan’s eyes widened in alarm. “Hatched?! We don’t even know what species or hybrid we’re looking for.” They flipped over cushions, checked under every piece of furniture, and seemingly turned the entire suite upside down. Not a single nook was left unsearched but the golden egg was nowhere in sight. 

“We’re the worst egg parents ever,” Ilsa grunted. “This is like when my childhood cat Meredith ran away. I’ve become much more responsible since then… or so I thought.” 

He snickered, “The worst I did as a kid was accidentally let my parakeets fly away when I was 12. Come to think of it, maybe it was better for them that way.” 

“That was the worst? I find that hard to believe,” she teased. 

Ethan looked outside the window for a moment, and suddenly a glint of light refracting under the sun caught his eye. Sitting right in the middle of the driveway was the innocuous little egg. “Look!” He darted outside to retrieve it, and then hugged it close to his chest as he brought it back inside. 

“It must have rolled out the door when we got the lamp,” Ilsa remarked. 

They inspected it for any cracks or damages (there were none, thankfully), and readjusted the pillow fort. “Alright, guess we’re not taking our eyes off of him,” she said. 

Ethan looked at her and paused for a moment, his lips curling into a smile.

“What?”

“You called it _him_.” 

“Oh no, I’m getting attached.” she gasped. 

————————————————————————

Soon enough, they had spent an entire week with Eggward. The egg was still in a relatively pristine condition and there were no more major mishaps (except for the time Ethan thought it was a good idea to give him a bath, and in which Ilsa was sure that would drown him). They took turns giving him cuddles, and even read it bedtime stories. 

On Friday, Ethan visited the IMF Headquarters to pick up some documents, and bumped into Hunley on the way. 

“Oh, sir. I was wondering when you wanted us to bring the egg back,” he said. 

Alan Hunley stood and squinted at Ethan. “Excuse me? What egg?” 

“You know, the… egg,” Ethan stuttered, making vague gestures with his arms. 

“Is this a joke?” Hunley snapped. 

“No, no, of course not. I… never mind,” he trailed off. Hunley eyed him suspiciously, but then carried on to run his errands. _Typical Ethan Hunt_ , he thought. 

———————————————————————-

When Ethan returned home, he found Brandt, Benji, and Luther in the kitchen. 

“Oh hey, Ethan!” Benji called. 

“Wow, I completely forgot about the dinner party. I’ve been so busy with…” he hesitated about telling his friends about Eggward. What if it was a topsecret government project? It must be serious since even Hunley didn’t know about it. “… stuff. Where’s Ilsa?” He noticed that Eggward was gone as well; she must have taken him with her. 

“She went to pick up dessert,” Brandt replied. 

“Oh. Anything you need help with?” Ethan offered. 

“Sit back and relax, Hunt. You cooked last time,” Luther said. 

“Actually, _I_ personally wouldn’t mind if he helped,” Brandt interjected. 

“Let him rest,” Benji said. 

“See? He knows what he’s talking about,” Ethan winked. Benji winked back. 

Finally, Ilsa returned with some pies and the boys got the table set. There was a portion of the thick, fluffy omelette on each of their plates. The yellow was mixed with colourful splashes of green and red peppers and cheese oozing throughout. 

Ethan began to work his way through the dish, but making sure to savour each bite. “This is really amazing.” 

“Thanks. Also, guys, do you think we should tell them about the egg now?” Benji said. 

Ilsa was bewildered, “Wait, you knew about that egg?” 

“You see, it was sort of a prank. My cousin Clint owns a farm and he gave me an ostrich egg. We thought it would be funny to trick you two into taking care of it to see how you would react,” Brandt explained. 

“I painted it!” Benji added. 

“I’d say you two handled it pretty well,” Luther simpered. 

It still did not register in Ethan’s mind. “Well where did you put him?” 

Ilsa’s face turned pale all of a sudden. 

“What, the egg? I made this omelette, of course,” Brandt replied. 

Ethan choked on his mouthful, and spat it back out while retching in the most cacophonous noises. Similarly, Ilsa also looked 3 seconds away from vomiting. 

“ _You guys cooked Eggward?!”_ he shouted. 

“Eggward?” Brandt repeated. 

Luther shook his head, “Oh boy, he named it.”   
  
“We never should have done this,” Benji commented. 

“Oh god, I ate Eggward. _I ate Eggward_ ,” Ethan muttered to himself. He let himself collapse into Ilsa’s arms, and she pat his head to comfort him. 

“I know, I feel awful too,” she whispered. 

“I think I also lost my appetite,” Benji huffed. 

Brandt initially thought Ethan was acting ridiculous, but now he was genuinely concerned for him. “Uh- do you want me to send you another one to make up for it? Cause I can do that…” 

“We’ll be okay. Thanks,” Ilsa said. 

By the end of the night, none of them had much of an appetite left. 

“Sorry we ruined it,” Benji apologized. 

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it,” Ethan sighed and gave him a hug. “See you guys soon.” 

Moments after Benji, Brandt, and Luther drove away, Ethan and Ilsa got ready for bed. 

“This is so weird, but the bed feels so much emptier without Eggward,” Ethan said softly. 

Ilsa moved closer until their bodies were pressed together, and wrapped her arms around him from the back. “Is this better?”   


“Much better.”   



End file.
